Gaslighting: What Self-Help Gets Wrong—and What God Gets Right

Gaslighting is everywhere. The word’s gone viral. Mel Robbins and Jefferson Fisher offer advice that’s empowering, even practical. But does it heal? Or does it just help you win?

This episode of Truth Behind the Trend peels back the self-help message and holds it up to the light of God’s Word—and what we find is revealing.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your own reality. It can be subtle or overt, loud or silent. And it leaves you second-guessing everything—your memory, your emotions, even your worth.

The world says: “Stand your ground.”
God says: “Guard your heart.”

Mel and Jefferson advise us to respond with, “I remember things differently.” And while that might stop a conflict, it doesn’t bring real peace. Because if we only protect our boundaries but never address our wounds, the gaslighter still owns our peace.

Truth: We’ve All Been the Gaslighter

Let’s go deeper. Ever downplayed someone else’s joy because it made you uncomfortable? Pretended not to notice a friend’s success post? Tossed a snide comment about someone “probably having connections”?

That’s gaslighting, too.

Gaslighting doesn’t always come from malicious people. It often comes from hurting hearts. And sometimes, it comes from us.

When someone else shines a little too bright, it challenges the parts of us that feel dim. That’s not shameful—it’s human. But it’s also a signal that our own hearts might need some healing.

The Bible’s Perspective

Proverbs 15:12 says: “A mocker stays away from the wise because they hate being corrected.”
That’s the gaslighter’s heart: uncomfortable around your light because it exposes their pain.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to guard our hearts, not just our egos.

The world teaches you to protect your power.
God teaches you to protect your peace.

The world says to let the gaslighter dig their own hole.
God says—what if you reached down and helped them out?

It’s radical. But it’s the way of Christ. He didn’t win arguments. He won hearts.

So… How Do We Handle Gaslighting?

1. Recognize it without reacting in pride.
   Say, “I remember differently”—but then live differently.
   
   
2. Protect your heart, not your ego.
   You don’t need to win. You need to walk in peace.
   
   
3. See the gaslighter as human.
   They may be hurting, hardened, or hungry for love. Be the light that exposes—but also heals.
   
   
4. Own your role.
   We’ve all been the gaslighter. The faster we admit it, the faster we shift.
   
   

Final Truth

Gaslighting is real. But the world’s solution only addresses behavior. God’s truth goes deeper—it heals the heart.

So next time you’re tempted to stay in control or win an argument, remember:
You don’t need to scream your truth.
Just live it.
Love them anyway.
Because love is always the answer—and the main character.